Posted by: facetothewind | August 31, 2007

Everything I Own is Pink

Well, it was supposed to be light lavender. Cupcake, Pan, and I painted three flights of 100 year-old stairs at Cupcake’s house in Portland yesterday. Cupcake is widely known for his eclectic tastes. He has a series of Jack Davis’ crocheted penis hanging in his Edwardian living room right by the Greg Gorman portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger smoking a cigar. He is also the man who came up with the blue-faced drag diva named Helvetica Bold who takes being out of touch to a fine art: “Why don’t they have lunar eclipses during the day so we can see them?” and civic projects like Raking the Wilderness.

So it didn’t surprise me when Cupcake and I went paint shopping for the stairwell that it was destined to be pink, er, lavender. What I didn’t realize was that everything I own would soon be pink. I did it – OK I have only myself to blame — I placed the fan in the attic venting out the window so we would be drawing fresh, cool air up from the basement on one of the hottest days of the summer as we used the paint sprayer in the stairwell. I did see a warning on the paint sprayer’s instruction manual not to use on a windy day. Well, by placing that fan in the attic, I essentially created a nice windy day…indoors.

And so when the day of painting was done, I went into the attic room that has been my summer home I got quite a surprise. It looked like someone had blown up the Mary Kay factory in my room. A pink 9/11. There was a not-so-thin layer of pink powder covering EVERYTHING in the room.

Note to self: don’t use a paint sprayer in a well-ventilated room. Seal the room off and rent a gas mask and wait for the paint to settle before opening. And don’t forget the goggles: I won’t even tell you about my pink eye goop that keeps coming out the corners of my eyes. I won’t even tell you about my pink boogers.

Beanpole and Cupcake at work together around the house: the “Bean-Cakes.” It’s like Ethel and Lucy. Mommy has not been known for her great feats of construction. If you want to read about the last comical time I wielded a paint sprayer (in the tropical trade winds of Hawaii) see my book below…

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