Posted by: facetothewind | November 10, 2008

How about a little email etiquette, darlings?

I know, I know. Everyone’s excited about what’s going on politically and everyone wants to send me a group email, a forward of a forward of a forward of something Arianna Huffington or Michael Moore wrote (which I probably already read several times) and that has a thousand indents and weird line breaks because of all the forwarding that makes it essentially unreadable.

I’ll hold up my end of the bargain and exercise my power to delete whatever you send if I’ve already seen it. No harm done. I can lift my right pinkie to the delete key as easily as a dog can lift its leg on a fire hydrant.

But YOU must hold up your end of the bargain as a responsible Internet citizen and BCC all your group emails. That is so that you don’t send everyone’s email visible to everyone. The reason being that when you don’t BCC, someone can hit “reply to all” (or a robot can do that) and then everyone’s email has been captured for later use. It’s a great way to get on your friends’ nerves. I don’t need to know that someone in Indiana is away for the week and has their computer replying automatically to all. This can and has created an endless loop of email that has filled my email box with hundreds of emails. I want that about as much as I want Sarah Palin to run for President in 2012. Respect your friends and BCC your groups! (If you’re sending a group email to your family or your small handful of friends who all know each other, no worries.)

NEVER REPLY TO ALL! If someone commits the cardinal sin of sending a group email visible, don’t reply to everyone.

I know, you may have grown up in a time when you had to call the switchboard to get Ernestine to connect you to Echo Valley 2-6809, but now you have a computer and you need to learn how to use it. If you got a food processor, you wouldn’t brag about the good old days when you had to chop a mountain of onions by hand while you simultaneously stick your hand in the machine and hack off your fingers, would you? No. In spite of being a survivor from a gentler generation decaying in the 21st century while nimrod know-it-alls handily use nouns like “text” as verbs, you’d learn to use the tool in front of you lest you lose your fingers. And you’d even learn to text someone wouldn’t you? (But don’t text me, I’m warning you, I have Verizon and it costs me 20cents for each text. Yep, 20 cents for a Generation “O” to write me and say, “Sup?” Twenty red pennies for you to send me a Shakespeare sonnet. So don’t. Send me an email or ring my damn phone and forget the text unless you’re someplace you absolutely can’t talk and absolutely have to get an important message to me, and really, if you’re THAT important, you’re probably no friend of mine.)

And while I’m at it, please don’t send attachments to me by email if they’re more than a couple megabytes. I need to keep my servers and email limits clean and ready for business. If you send a huge attachment of a video that someone forwarded you of some elephant sitting on someone at a zoo in India, all my email gets hung up behind it while it downloads. Most videos you send are ALREADY archived on YouTube. You could check for it first and then send the LINK to the YouTube page and save everyone the download time! Amazing.

And one more thing – I’m just not really into chain emails where you have to send something to 10 friends and wait for the magic to happen. I don’t need any more magic in my life, thank you very much. The daily unicorn rides to Candyland are enough.

Don’t let this shut you down. I do love hearing from you. I love to know what YOU think, what you watch, what you read, what turns you on and off. Mostly, I love original content…your own words and thoughts, pictures and videos. Get yourself a blog. Get a YouTube account and send me the link.

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