Posted by: facetothewind | November 17, 2009

All dressed up and ready to go underwater

Oasis restaurant

I was visiting Fort Myers, Florida, where most of my family lives…the town where I grew up. Yes, the backwater, seething, sweaty little gene-constricted white trash, cowpoke town from which I ran screaming as I could save enough money for a 1-way ticket to New York on PeopleExpress. I really never looked back. Not until this visit. Nearly a quarter century later, the town has gotten its act together.


Look at it now! They widened the sidewalks to allow for cafés, put in cobblestones, polished up all the old buildings and SHAZAM – a brand new old downtown…just waiting for a crowd.

dt ft myers

I must admit, I found it quite alluring. I started looking around at real estate which is enormously depressed. The housing bubble shriveled more than Joe Lieberman’s brain. Now you can buy a historic 2,000 square foot Craftsman bungalow with pool, walking distance from the charming downtown for $139,000! I’m so tempted.


Is it worth it, though? The cuteness and walkability of a downtown is very important to me. But could I move to the belly of the beast? It is Florida, after all…where gay adoption is illegal, where my mother has to escort women to Planned Parenthood to keep the looney tune Christians from photographing them, where Christians paint swastikas on little old ladies’ houses b/c they wrote a pro-gay op ed piece for the paper, where they still hang confederate flags in graveyards, where you see signs like this at the pool…

no incontinence

Those party poopers. They just take all the fun out of life.

Harold Wanless, chairman of the University of Miami’s Department of Geological Sciences, predicted a 1.5 foot rise in sea level in 50 years and a three- to five-foot increase by the end of the century. Read article.

So I’m weighing it: drought or flood? Family or my dwindling base of friends in Tucson? Cheap Craftsman bungalow or live next to my moronic neighbor? Christians foaming at the mouth or the blight of desert city sprawl? Let me know what YOU think!

It would be nice to be closer to family. Here’s a picture of my parents hosting a PFLAG fundraiser. My parents are big gay activists in Naples. At about 5 feet tall, my mother is the little dynamo Italian mother every gay man has always wanted. Many of them came up to me at the luncheon of 95 people to tell me how much they love my mother.

pflag mom


On another note, I found this picture of my father in the navy. Cute, huh?

Dad navy



  1. Hey David, I enjoy your blog. I met you in Portland with Larry for lunch at the little Thai place and he told me about it. My bro lives near Tampa, and his daughter more inland. I’d love to be closer to them eventually but have similar reservations. I’m glad you have such loving and supportive parents. If we both end up in FL let’s be friends and get together there! Kathy (PS love to Sebastian too; have a great time in Thailand)

  2. David, you already know what I think from my tome-length email. In short, move there and give ’em hell!

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