Posted by: facetothewind | October 19, 2010

Grief v.2

Well after last week’s crying fest, I thought I was done grieving and on to the peaceful melancholy part of my breakup. WRONG! I heard from Germany that Sebastian is moving ahead with his plans to teach in China for a year. Nothing at all wrong with that. I’m excited for him. But for me it means I really, really have to let go now. Because before I thought I might still spend the summer in Germany with my new best friend and then perhaps he’d be in the US for his doctorate, going to China is where our paths inexorably diverge. After that who knows where he’d go? My heart is simply not ready to never see the boy again. I just don’t understand how one can go from being so amazingly close to that eventuality. We never had a cross word with each other. There was no betrayal. So why would someone yearn to break free like that?

The answer I think may be that someone didn’t feel as close as the other one.


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