Posted by: facetothewind | October 27, 2010

Dorothy surrenders

Here’s a picture of me in Tucson fixing my bike. Oh wait, no…it’s Dorothy in Kansas wistfully singing by a tractor. Well, same thing. Let me explain…

Since Sebastian and I parted company, I have felt that the last 2 years was some grand and colorful dream…a storybook sort of odyssey that took me all over the world with a loving partner. There was Paris and Prague and Bangkok and New York. Mountain tops and seasides. Planes, trains and elephants. It must have been a dream from which I have had to sorely awaken.

The dream ended abruptly and since then it has not been pretty. My sleep has been destroyed and many of the things that I normally enjoy like cooking and singing have just felt like routine motions. I’ve been having to drug myself to sleep and living off of boxed macaroni and cheese.

But yesterday, for the first time, I managed to have a tiny nap. This was a miracle for me, sent from heaven. In the evening, feeling fresh and ready to sing, I went to choir with my new music stand that I finally treated myself to. (Trish provided a great case for it from her magic closet.) I stood in the back of the choir singing and swaying like the Supremes, no longer fumbling with 100 pages of music in my hands. Then I came home and actually slept a full night without my usual middle of the night sleeplessness and worry.

I know it’s not over completely, but I’m grateful for this small clearing in the woods. And I have to thank my friends and neighbors for making the difference. I’ve complained about the “little old lady brigade” of Tamarisk — the housing division where I live. Now Tamarisk seems like comforting balm. Let me tell you, when you’re in need, the little old ladies are there. There with pumpkin pie and muffins and herbal remedies for sleep. I’ve gone out for drinks, dinners, bike rides…I even took an invitation to sit with my neighbors and watch a baseball game eating licorice and lemon cookies. So let me take back all my aspersions! My neighbors and housemate Trish have been my lifeline. Trish even pulled a harmonica out of the closet and I’ve been learning how to play.

And my friends have been so great. Patrick was the first to call. Then Bill from San Francisco. Then Jean called me every day from England. Tom called a couple times. Grant emailed me every day with stories of his own similar meltdown. Angela and Jeff had me over for dinner. Lissy took me to a dude ranch dinner. Michael read poetry to me to calm me down. Danielle and I comiserated at Sky Bar. Alex took me out for some retail therapy. Brad took me out for chamber music. Ida and Lois came over. Damaris did a therapy for design exchange. Choir members told me that I was in their thoughts and gave me hugs. Real hugs. My neighbor Patricia is taking me out for dinner tonight. It has been a very humbling experience to feel this warmth in a place where previously I felt I had no friends.

Yesterday, Tom & Steve sent me a martini spear and a link to this video which made me laugh for the first time in a few weeks. It has been too long!

So here I am once again fleshing out Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz (which I have come to know as the great cinematic touchstone of all times, the font of all wisdom) returned home with a bump on my head after running away to Europe to realize that there is no place like home. It was a marvelous dream…and you were there…and you, and you, and you. Click here to see that clip.

Finally, as a sentiment killer, if you’ve never seen this alternate ending to the film, have a watch. I think it’s the most brilliant parody, and believe me, there are a lot of them:

Did you know that a search on Google Images for Dorothy brings up 2.6 million images? I’m certain I’m not alone any longer.


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