Posted by: facetothewind | September 30, 2012

Go Down Smiling

My friend Jean and I were talking tonight about how the country is really in its 2nd Great Depression (28% of Americans feel that it has already begun) and how it’s affecting us and our friends and what we’re doing to survive it. It has certainly arrived on my doorstep. I have experienced the dissolution of my graphic design business and my massage business while my Hawaii house has slowly become worthless. I don’t collect any form of unemployment nor do I show up on unemployment statistics. Tucson is now ranked the 6th poorest city in the nation. No wonder I can’t seem to kickstart any of my careers.

It seems that I can either choose to be absolutely miserable it or I can make peace with it. Here now is Dave’s Antidote to the Great Depression II:

1. Don’t be closeted or ashamed of your destitution. Keeping it buttoned up is just what the folks who got us into this mess want us to do: suck it up and eat cat food in silence. But don’t do it. Speak about it. Switch it up: Complain bitterly in public but laugh about it in private.

2. Take it one day at a time. Don’t plan that summer vacation but know that when you’re unemployed, every day is a vacation and you can leave at any moment! It’s summer in the world somewhere all the time. Just charge that one way airline ticket on your credit card. Don’t worry about your credit rating. Who needs it when they’ve already repossessed your house? Cheap cocktails on the beach in Thailand will go a long way to soothe your worries about your delinquent credit card bill.

3. Remember that seemingly ridiculous statement about the best things in life being free, it’s not true. There’s nothing like a ride in a private jet or your own Caribbean island. But until your financial freedom arrives by magical unicorn you can enjoy some of the other free things in life like back rubs, foot massages, smiles, hugs, a bit wet sloppy kiss and of course the best: making love under the stars when you’re homeless.

4. Find creative ways to enjoy life like finding the Gibson Girl in the moon. Thank you Jean for teaching me this and singing me some of your Girl Scout camp songs. I bet Jean would sing you Goodnight Camp Sugarpine for free if you ask her. Write to me and I’ll have her call you to sing it to you over the phone.

Now, can you see the Gibson Girl? Go out right now and look…She’s just there to the left of the picture overlay.

In spite of how most people are going to get their knickers in a knot, their panties in a bunch about their new found poverty, those of us with well honed gallows humor will already be ahead of the game. If you can burst into laughter when the sheriff comes to put you out, just think of your personal power. Just put a nice big steak in the AC duct before you go. Then go to the courthouse steps where they’re selling your house and set off your remote controlled fart machine. You can get it on Amazon for $12.80. Made in China for sure which is why we’re all going down the drain in the first place, so embrace it. Don’t prolong America’s death, speed it along buy buying everything bearing “Made in China.”

Laughing in times of disaster is always a good skill to have and of course we of the black comedy may get shot first when the shit hits the fan, but consider that too might be a gift.  😉

There you have it. Dave & Jean’s 3 part plan for surviving a collapsing superpower. It’s not Suze Orman’s plan or Dmitri Orlov’s solution which you might also want to read, but it’ll do in a pinch…and that in hard times, dear, is what it’s all about.

And who would take financial advice from someone named Suze, anyway? SoooZay Or Man. Whatever, SuZay! I think someone should send her a free fart machine.

Happy depression everyone!

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Responses

  1. David, I left a comment a few hours ago; it doesn’t seem to want to appear.

    • Hmmm. it took this comment but not your first. I don’t know why it seems to do that to you the first time.

      • And since it does it so often, I had already copied the text just in case. When it didn’t appear, I tried commenting again and pasted the original text in a new comment box. Then a window popped up saying “Duplicate: it looks like you already said that” (paraphrasing). So I gave up.

  2. Anyway, I forget what I said the first time around except that I worked with Suze Orman a couple of times on public TV. Oy vey.

  3. Dear David,

    Thank goodness for your spectacular sense of humor. I had not realized Tucson is in such bad shape. I’ve heard that people in the States are generally depressed about the state of the union and people have warned me to stay away. I still would like to visit but have to figure out how to afford it. Maybe I’m in the best place for living on a shoestring.

    For the first time, I did see the Gibson girl following your instruction–it is lovely! Thank you, David. Also, thanks for the wonderful eggplant recipe. We have lots of eggplant here but I usually just saute without bothering to bleed and never find them bitter.

    Pai continues to grow, every day sees more businesses pop up. I don’t know who is going to make these businesses profitable as there are way too many. One American-style shoe store opens, following week a second shoe store opens up. It is such a monkey see monkey do mentality. We have gained some excellent restaurants, though I wonder how long they will survive when high season is only a few weeks out of the year.

    I went to BKK a couple of weeks ago to get a complete physical. Did I already tell you? BKK not worth it–way more expensive than CM for medical, hotel, food, etc. Bumper-to-bumper traffic everywhere. Yuch!

    Sending good thoughts your way.

    Lots of love, Dianna

    Date: Mon, 1 Oct 2012 04:47:25 +0000 To: di_dwdancer@hotmail.com


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