Posted by: facetothewind | June 24, 2013

Regret nothing

Regret nothing

My friend Grant sent me this graphic. He always sends me the best quotes, clips and photos. I don’t know where it comes from but somehow it struck me as some sort of instructions by which I have been living. These days I have very few regrets but I do have a few in my past. Hmm, shall I name them? OK, why not? I regret wasting so many years loving Patrick. I regret building my Hawaii house. Oh, here’s a recent one: I regret not telling Steve in NZ what an ungracious person he is.

Things to work on. I laugh a lot at things I shouldn’t laugh at. It’s a bit a schadenfreude, I guess. I could laugh more. I could sing out loud more.

I cry a fair amount. I almost always cry at take off in an airplane. It’s a combo of the poignance of saying goodbye and knowing how much fuel I’m using for my travel. I find myself in places here in Thailand where I had been with Sebastian and I cry.

I took a risk recently with Yee and told him how much I cared about him after only knowing him for 3 weeks. It was a good risk to take. I have felt the same back from him. I don’t regret it.

I want Sebastian to know how much he still means to me after all this time, but I can’t contact him to tell him so. I have to heal my broken heart. I regret that I have not been able to do this sooner so that I could just be his friend without having my heart get all messy. I know that he knows this and understands. I know that he is loving me from afar and in his own way. I know when the moment is right we will be in touch. And that I find comforting.

Grant also sent me a poem by the late James Broughton that rings true for me these days and my global journey to reinvent my life:

I took a sharp look
I took a long prowl
I questioned the serpent
I questioned the owl
I called up the mayor
I called on the sage
I tried reading Proust
I tried life on the stage
I went into therapy
I went out for sports
I suffered every ailment
from sniffles to warts
I went to the dogs
I went to the Pope
I climbed Annapurna
I fasted on dope
I dug up the desert
I delved in the sea
But nowhere I looked
could I recognize me
So eventually I
had to give up my plan
of escape to Siam
and accept myself here
just as I am
But it wasn’t easy

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I like the poem, and it was interesting to read your regrets. I will be thinking about mine as I fall asleep tonight. I know one is not breaking up with my fiancee back in 1988, but waiting another 4 or 5 years, thinking that he wasnt so bad…he was. Should have got off that train at a much earlier stop. Other regrets are about my recent food choices: I am fat.

  2. Great poem! Great post! Thank you!

  3. Thank you for sharing. I am glad for myself that you shared what you had in you . I am glad for you that you have so much to choose from.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: