Posted by: facetothewind | September 9, 2014

Going with the Flow

When it rains it pours. And when it flows, it goes. It’s been a bit of annus horribilis for me in the home ownership department. First it was the dead AC and the leaking roof and broken irrigation and resulting listing tree in Tucson. Then a few days ago I got word from Hawaii that my house in Seaview is in some danger of a new eruption of lava from Kilauea, one of the most active volcanoes in the world. Yeah, call me stupid for building on a volcano. When I started construction, the lava was happily bubbling up out of the ground and flowing to the sea about 11 miles away. It provided nice evening entertainment looking off to the red glow reflected in the clouds. Then just this summer as the property values started creeping up enough that I could once again consider unloading my house without a big loss, the volcano decided to unload on the area first. But not before a hurricane struck the house knocking out the power and phones and buckling my floors. So in the middle of the first decent offer from a buyer in 8 years, this has all set it back and now the buyer is expected to back out with cold feet. I think those cold tootsies could use a nice little walk on some red hot lava!

Currently it’s not flowing toward the house but is about 3 miles away. The big fear for most people is that it will take out the highway, cutting the area off from easy access. And that could spell disaster for the area.

Here’s a map. I circled the lava flow and my house so you can see how close it’s getting…

USGS map of lava flow from September 8. Click to enlarge.

USGS map of lava flow from September 8. Click to enlarge.

You can click here for the whole story:

So while I’m wandering around Kuala Lumpur chewing my nails down to the bone about this, I saw this stenciled under a bridge. I needed the laugh. Maybe I need that massage, too. Maybe the volcano needs that massage. I invite you all to make a phone call to that number and ask them what exactly IS a volcano massage…like we don’t know.


Anyway, I’m really praying for a happy ending to this Hawaiian nightmare dream house saga.

And if you’ve not read my book on this subject, treat yourself to a copy of it by clicking the cover below. It’s hilarious and tragic. It gets great reviews on Amazon and will make wonderful end of summer reading for you. You’ll learn some Pidgin, get some building tips, and you’ll get to live out your dream of running away to a tropical island paradise while remaining safely free of bugs and crazy people in the comfort and safety of your living room. Click it now…

HI cover






  1. Oh David. I’m so sorry about what’s possibly looming for your sweet homostead. Thanks for sharing all the flaming visuals and your story, disturbing as they are…

  2. You may need a few cocktails to “go with the flow.” Bad, bad luck–hope it improves soon or at least doesn’t get any worse! Hugs, Dianna

  3. It is a great book! Rotten luck re. two different major home-ownership troubles at the same time. I won’t bore you by saying how fortunate you are to own two homes in the first place — I know you are aware of that. I will say, though, that the other day, having NO IDEA that your house was near the flow, I had the (I thought) brilliant idea of flying to Hawaii and buying up cheap real estate near the flow. I thought, I bet I could get a great deal right now on a place that’s close to the flow. I bet people are trying like crazy to get out from their houses. I could buy a place cheap and even if it ended up under lava, I’d still have some land in Hawaii. what’s your asking price this week?


  4. Is your house upland or downland, uphill or downhill of the flow?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: